Ralph's Pic of the Week

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January 11th, 2009

There is darkness in the world my friends. And it is very real. And sometimes, this darkness directly affects us. Most of you regular readers of this weekly blog, know that the content of what I write every week, is for the most part, upbeat. 90% of my columns are based on, off color humor about the New England surf and those who surf here. I know there are other bloggers out there, (and some who are local ) who are always over the top "stoked", and while I believe them to be genuinely positive, they either have never seen this darkness, or have turned a blind eye to it.

This past week I have come face to face with three forms of darkness. And because I write about weekly happenings, I am going to share them with you . And honestly my brothers and sisters, I am doing this, in hopes that if any of you have experienced this, or may be facing this darkness, that there is hope. There is a light at the end of this tunnel, if you want a way out.

I know some of you are scratching your heads right now saying "What the hell is Ralph talking about now?" Well, I'm talking about the passing of a 19yr old this past week that left this world by his own doing. This young man was a friend to many here in the community. He left behind a younger brother, a mother and father, grandparents and hundreds of friends and mourners. Was he a surfer? Yes and no. He has surfed. I know this, because I was there when he first tried it. He was a snowboarder. He loved music. He loved his family and his friends. And by all accounts, he loved life.

Now before any of you ask why I would write about this touchy subject without consulting the family first, you need to know, that they have made this very public. There was no "he died a sudden death" in the newspapers, nor was there no speaking about it at the wake and funeral. Everyone knew how. Yet, everyone did not know why.

And like the Catholic Priest, who gave the most amazing homily, I have ever heard on this subject, said at his funeral, "No One knows what was in his mind at the end, when this darkness over took him. No one. Not those who knew and loved him. No one." And I think that is the biggest question we all have. Why? Those who knew this handsome and bright young man, are left with an emptiness and sadness that will linger forever.

I was so upset over this news, that I had called a family meeting to look our own children in the eye and tell them." If any of you, ever find yourself in this deep depression, facing this darkness where you think that this is the only way to fix this problem. You need to know, right here and now. That this is NOT the answer. That you will not be at peace, and the hurt and sadness that you will leave behind, will destroy your family and friends."

I told them that there is someone you can talk to. "Come and talk to me. Or your mother. We will never look at this as anything but a call for help. And because we love you, we would do anything to help you. And if you don't feel comfortable talking to us, then talk with any other family member, or your friends. Or there's always doctors, counselors and clergy."

In short, there is a way out. That you are not alone and you will not have to face this darkness alone. I don't enjoy writing this. But if I can save someone out there, or help someone who's faced this, then I feel I must.

Look I know I am not an authority on suicide. I'm not a analyst, or a counselor, or a priest. I'm just like you. A surfer with kids who has a genuine love of this lifestyle, and the people who live it. I don't want to see anyone else go through this. I know there are readers all over the globe who read this column every week. In fact, the count on this site from November to December was over 10,000 readers.

I don't know 10,000 people/surfers personally.

But I know that's a lot of surfers. So to those who only know me through these weekly rants, you need to talk with your children. Or your brothers and sisters. Your mothers and fathers or your friends. Let them know that if they ever face this darkness, there is help. And if you know someone now who's in this dark world of despair, you need to get to them. Don't turn your back on these lost souls.

Help them find their way, back to the light.

That's the first. Remember, I said I had three cases of darkness. The second was finding out about an old friend of the surf community who finally lost his life to the darkness that he willingly gave his life to. Drugs. Steve "Neddie" Nelson died last week. "Neddie" was one of the most colorful surfers to ever surf here in New England. I mean there was NO ONE who surfed like Neddie. No one.

It's hard to describe his surf style except to say that it was bizarre and hilarious. Back in the 70's when he was still into surfing, Neddie could be seen charging the points and beachbreaks with total abandon. And risking it all by doing unconventional maneuver's that made absolutely no sense. But that was Neddie. A total creative individual, drawing wild lines on his canvas of waves, and turning heads wherever and whenever he surfed.

But Neddie walked into the darkness of Drugs. And he never came back out. As much as he may have wanted to, the addiction, or the disease was too powerful. I'm not talking about smoking weed. I'm talking about the real shit. The stuff that Elvis liked. The stuff that a lot of creative types have fallen into. Heroin and narcotics. Neddie could not get away from that addiction because as he once said to a mutual friend "It's just too dam good to quit."

Neddie died alone. A broken man, who left behind only a handful of friends and memories.

The darkness of hard drugs and alcohol has taken many lives. And I'm 100% positive that it has taken many surfers. I know it has, because I've known some. This darkness, is another wake up call to those out there, who may slip into the seductive grasp, of hard drugs or alcohol. Again, there is hope, and there is a way out of that black dark tunnel. And unlike suicide, this disease is recognizable. So, if you know someone who's living in this particular dark nightmare, try and get to them. See if they are willing to help themselves get help. But please, don't turn your back on them.

Please my friends, say a prayer for the souls of Alex and Neddie tonight and ask that they finally find their peace.

The third form of darkness, is happening as I write this. And before I share the words that was sent by a friend this past week (see below). I want to remind us all. That we should, really, really, be thankful for what we have.

I know we give thanks to the Lord on special days like Thanksgiving and other Holidays. And there are those who give thanks every week at church gatherings, and there are others, who give thanks every day. But I also know (because I am one of them), that we tend to bitch and moan about some things that are so trivial, that it's almost a laughing matter.

It should be a laughing matter when we stop to think about the real true suffering that is going on in our world. The War in GAZA, the War in Iraq, the war in Afghanistan, the War in Africa. The suffering of the millions of displaced human beings in those countries is heartbreaking. I mean, it is absolutely heart breaking.

Our friend and exceptionally talented photo journalist Brian Nevins is currently in Nicaragua. He is there on a Humanitarian Photo shoot project. He is at this place they call the Dump. I will post his amazing photographs (below ) for you all to see. And if these photos don't hit you like a cold slap in the face, then you are numb and without emotional feelings.

If these photos don't make you realize, just how lucky we are, then again, you are without feeling. You are soulless. But, unlike the previous two forms of darkness that I wrote about, this darkness can be helped.

This darkness can be helped without counseling (although I'm sure some of these kids will be scarred for life). This darkness can be cured right now with humanitarian aid and money.

I know asking for Financial aid when some of you are hurting is not very popular. But look at these photos and read Brian's words. And if nothing else, please think twice about bitching about the lack of surf, or snow, or whatever...just stop and look at what we have and by God, be thankful for all of it.

Now for some casual observances from last week.

Israel has started the third phase of the war against HAMAS . They said today on the news that they want to destroy HAMAS. Not stop the errant rockets and mortar fire coming into ISRAEL but to Destroy Hamas. With over 20,000 strong Hamas fighters, they will have their hands full. This is a mess that will not go away. We can only sit back and watch as the world becomes an even more unstable planet.

The hurt and suffering goes on.

The world does need to pay attention to the leaders of IRAN. They may play a big part in this. One way or another. The role IRAN plays in this conflict is crucial.

This is not funny, but then again it is. I read in the Boston Globe today (yes I read the Globe) that 5 Somali Pirates drowned after their small skiff capsized after receiving their $3million dollar ransom money. Ahhh am I wrong here, or shouldn't Pirates know how to swim if they are going to be Pirates?? Hello? Are you kidding me? I had to chuckle at that bit of news.

OK I have to say...this is the funniest and saddest bit I have ever seen about surfers and localism. If you have not seen it you MUST check this out. It's called KOOKS Just click on KOOKS and check it out. It's hilarious.

OK it's time for some NFL talk...So who would of predicted what happened this weekend in the NFL? Not me that's for sure. It's going to be an all Bird weekend next week. The RAVENS, The CARDINALS, The EAGLES and the only non- bird team the Steelers. I'm happy that 3 out of the 4 teams above won.

The only team I'm not happy for is the Steelers. If you saw the Eagles game today vs the Giants you saw our old friend Assante Samuel pick off a ball from Eli "Dopey" Manning that led to the first Eagle TD and eventual romp of the the Giants. I have one question for Assante. "Why the hell couldn't you do that in the last game you played with New England?

Dam you Assante!"

OK I want the Cardinals to win and the Ravens to win next weekend. Sorry Geoff. But McNabb grabbing the phone on the sidelines to mock the Giants was bad karma. That will come back and bite him in the ass. Cards win by 10 next week. Ravens win by 3.

Don't forget "GREETING SEASONS" and "Groovemasters" are in the shops!

There's still time to score one of Brian Nevins's canvas print orders. Brian Nevins 949.295.9390
www.briannevins.com

Kevin Doherty has a 2009 Calendar in the Shops that features all of New England. Check it out!

QWILL is available on myspace.com/qwillmusic

Please Support ALL The photographers who contribute to Ralph's Pic Of The Week Especially: Ed O'Connell, John Carden, Brian Nevins, Bernie Baker, Jamie Wade, Kevin Doherty, Lenny Nichols, Chris Shipley, The Phantom, Ross Kunkel, Bob Consentino, and Chris Thompson and all the others.

Rest in Peace Alex and Neddie.

Remember my friends...Surfing heals all wounds....
Pray for Surf. Pray for Peace. Surf For Fun.

Ralph

Yesterday- 1983 VINNY and the KIDS
(Below) Seeing all the photos of the children at the "Dump" in Nicaragua reminded me of my experience down
there in 1983. My band from Boston, was called VINNY. We were the first American band to tour through those
poor countries. This was during the war in El Salvador and Nicaragua. I brought my surfboard with me
because I knew there was surf there. I never found good surf. But I did find plenty of kids who lived in the
poor villages who would come out to see the free concerts.
"Hola hente! We are El groupo Vinny, somos de Boston!"
Photo by Juan Carlos LeCompte courtesy of R. G. Fatello SFOD

Photo by R. G. Fatello SFOD

(Above) Me and some friendly locals. Central America 1983 from the "Olas De Sexo" tour.
Photo by Juan Carlos LeCompte courtesy of R. G. Fatello SFOD

(Above) These kids don't seem too impressed with my 'Pete Towsend of The Who' impression.
Central America 1983 from the "Olas De Sexo" tour.
Photo by Juan Carlos LeCompte courtesy of R. G. Fatello SFOD

2009 Today- Below are the "Darkness of the Dump" photos by Brian Nevins. These are Brian's written words to me as well. *Normally I write captions for photos. But these images need none of my words. They speak for themselves.
All photos by Brian Nevins taken This Week in Nicaragua Jan. 2009

So it's one extreme to the other this week, sub zero temps in Times Square with everyone concerned over the economy, to the blazing heat down in a trash dump in Managua Nicaragua where the only thought on everyone's mind is gathering a bit of food.

This is my third trip down here and it's bound to be a good one. I am here with an organization called Lacrosse The Nations, it's a collective of some of the top pros in the sport dedicating a week to the children down here teaching them the game of Lacrosse. Like usual down here, there's no shortage of having the "how does this place exist" thoughts, but I think these guys are going to bring a bit of happiness to these kids this week.

Today was the first day, a reintroduction day for me, just to regain my senses. We walked through La Chureca, played some lacrosse for a few hours, caught up with the families we have come to know through our trips here. It is like I never left. It's hard to keep your chin up when you see a boy playing catch with his dad barefoot near a pile of needles, to see the kids running through the smoke and the trash and to re-acclimate to a world that has none of the luxuries we take for granted.

The best way to ring in the new year is to simply realize that as bad as we think things are right now, we are very fortunate to have what we do. Buenos Noches from Nica.

Brian.

(Above) Nicaragua January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua, January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

Day Four and Brian writes again....

I apologize if I'm filling your mailbox with a lot of not so pleasant imagery, just let me know if you want a break... I know it's a bit overwhelming. It's a bit overwhelming on my end and just wanted to share in my experience down here.
Today was one of those days where this is catching up with me. I have been fairly numb to this all over the past few days definitely wrapped up in playing Lacrosse and soccer with the kids, I have been able to keep a closed heart to my surroundings, but I'm just having a hard day with this.

I spent the afternoon with a few of the young kids as they were being what they are.. young and innocent. It was in the moment for them. Wrapped up in imagination in their back yard, this horrible place that I can't believe to this day exists. I just don't understand the world sometimes. I don't understand how there are children who were brought into this with out choice. I don't understand this government and it's lack of human respect.

I'm having a hard one keeping my chin up today. I think about being at home and wishing these people had what I had even if just for one day.

Brian

(Above) Nicaragua, January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

Day Five Brian writes "This is what perfect looks like"...

Today is just another day. The only difference is, a t shirt, little Wendy had on today, that made more sense to me than any phrase I've ever seen. For everything we want, and everything we wish for,
perfect is the simplest answer always. Perfect is a simple relationship that we share with another to lift each other up regardless of our surroundings.

Buenos Noches.

Brian Nevins

(Above) Nicaragua, January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

Day Seven Brian's email from the "Darkness of the Dump".

Yesterday was a nice day off at the beach. It was nice to put in a surf and break away from this place. Back in it today.
The lacrosse group is gone now and it will be just Brad and myself for the final few days. It will be the opportunity to face this a little deeper and find the "darker side" I have been afraid to see the last few trips down here. Today we hit a little more personal moments that will be stirring inside me for the rest of my life. It's funny how coming face to face with the worst we can dish out as humans brings up a lot of personal issues, fears and feelings.

I won't be able to explain this trip.

I know this feels like a pressure with the emails, for some even weird coming from me. I don't mean to put this on any of you. I just can't look these children in the eyes day in and day out through their drug addiction, their abuse, their starvation, their scavenging, their fear and not share this with someone. I just want if anything their pain to be what we don't understand everyday. What I've been blind to and what I've failed to realize and that's how good our life really is.

Hold on to what you have. There is very much a place alive right now that can't even dream up the world we live in.

Excuse me for getting out of person. It's been a week.

Brian

(Above) Nicaragua, January 2009
Photo by Brian Nevins

*A note from Ralph. I hope you are all still here looking at these images and reading these
excerpts from Brian. I was completely blown away by these photos when I first saw them.
I can only imagine what it must of been like for Brian and the LAX players. I told Brian I was
speechless when I first saw these. I know most of you are here looking for surf pics. They are
coming (below). But these images were so powerful, and Brian's emails so emotional and sincere, that I wanted to share these with you.

Because we are surfers, and we are a tribe of sorts, I thought it important enough to share these photos with you. I know you could see the surreal beauty of some of these images
and honestly, that is the talent that Nevins has. His unique eye to capture the moment of life unfolding around him. Whether it be, the pitching lip of a wave, or the burning trash of the dump. Nevins captures that image unlike any other.

So kudos to you Brian, Thank you for sharing these photos, and thank you for the
thoughtful and insightful words.

Peace be with you brother...Ralph

(Above) AVAILABLE NOW! CLICK ON POSTER of GREETING SEASONS from the NEW SFOD
*To order by check go to SurFreeOrDie.com
*To order by credit card go to CinnamonRainbows.com
Movie to see Trailer. Poster Design By ADLANTIC

*GROOVEMASTERS IS OUT and IN THE SHOPS!
*To order by check go to SurFreeOrDie.com
*To order by credit card go to CinnamonRainbows.com
(Above) AVAILABLE NOW! CLICK ON POSTER of GROOVEMASTERS from the NEW SFOD
Movie to see Trailer. Poster Design By ADLANTIC

Brian Nevins 949.295.9390
www.briannevins.com

RALPH'S VIDEO CLIP OF THE WEEK.
CLICK ON THE PHOTO IMAGE BELOW FOR SHORT WINDOWS MEDIA FILE VIDEO CLIP.
VIDEO by SFOD R. Fatello

(Above) CLICK ON Video (photo) Frame Grab of Kevin "Doc" Grondin from GrooveMasterS for a clip from the
NEW SFOD Movie. Video Frame grab by R. Fatello SFOD

2009 Pics from New England "From The Darkness to The Light"

(Above) The white stuff on the beach.
Photo by Lenny Nichols

(Above) Ice cold blue.
Photo by Lenny Nichols

(Above) Vertical blue.
Photo by Lenny Nichols

(Above) The winter reflections on the beach.
Photo by Lenny Nichols

(Above) Brown meets blue.
Photo by Lenny Nichols

(Above) Danger? For who?
Photo by Kevin Doherty

(Above) Danger, empty lefts...
Photo by Kevin Doherty

(Above) Adam G about to test his Blue stick out on a heaving section...seq 1
Photo by Kevin Doherty

(Above) Things look OK here Adam...seq 2
Photo by Kevin Doherty

(Above) A bit more speed would help here Adam...seq 3
Photo by Kevin Doherty

(Above) My guess is...Things went south for you here Adam...seq 4
Photo by Kevin Doherty

2009 Pics from Beyond New England January 2009

(Above) Pipe.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) "Who Da Guy?" Ha.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Julia and friend pretending...
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Double Rainbows on Oahu's North Shore.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Julia and Michaela on Oahu.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Rabbit Island Oahu's Eastside.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Julia walking in father Lenny's shoes. Like father like Daughter.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Julia's still life. *Check out the mini tube.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Toto we're not in Kansas anymore... waterfall Oahu.
Photo by Julia Nichols

(Above) Julia and Michaela on Oahu.
Photo by Julia Nichols

Above) Haeen-a-bals...Geoff Haenn's EAGLES are in the NFC championships. Good luck Geoff. Hope
Assante does not drop one...ouch!
Photo by Geoff Haenn

(Above) It gets pretty good in in California.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom

(Above) Check out this smooth as glass California scene.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom

(Above) California sweetness.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom

(Above) Wanting the sweetness.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom

(Above) California glass comes courtesy of the California kelp.
Photo courtesy of the Phantom

Above) The Hawaiian carve. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

Above) The Hawaiian drop. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

Above) The Hawaiian barrel. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

Above) The Hawaiian spit. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

Above) The Hawaiian bodyboarder. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

Today 2009 PARTING SHOT- ...The Hawaiian Eating Gas

Above) The Hawaiian down payment on Paradise. North Shore January 2009.
Photo by Bernie Baker

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