August 1st, 2010
The Surf Count of Waist High Or Better might be 22 out of 24 weeks...

I remember those days like it was yesterday. What days are those you ask? The days of horror and discomfort. The days of borderline insanity. Of crowds and bodies so thick, you could set a "All You Can EAT Buffet" on their backs. The hot, humid, and miserable days...my dear friends, I am speaking of ...WADDA KOUNTRY. Any parent who has raised children here on the Seacoast of New England, knows exactly what I'm talking about. Forget the seacoast, I'm talking everywhere in New England.

The Horror of WADDA KOUNTRY, was all but wiped out from my deepeest, inner most subconscious. I was free from those horrifying images for years. Then this week, my wife mentioned, that a fellow Surf family, had just experienced this regional horror.

And it all came rushing back. Like a waterfall of inner city bodies and inner tubes.

WADDA KOUNTRY. The mere mention of it for me, was cause for me to involuntary convulse. For years, we could not shake the idea from our three kids. They insisted that we go each summer. They pleaded with us. Summer after Summer. And we would give in. We would fill up the van, and leave the perfect beach, and perfect little waves, once every summer, and head to that insanity. And we would gather with strange families, and gangs of teens, who wouldn't know what a surfboard was, if it hit them in their shins. Oh the horror...the horror...the...h-o-r-r-o-r..

WADDA KOUNTRY! WADDA KOUNTRY- GET REAL SICK!

The sights and sounds of that place, will follow me to my grave. The long lines. The screaming parents and kids. The never ending blare of music and announcements over the PA system. The bus loads of inner city teens, who couldn't wait to eat as much junk food as possible, and go on as many rides as possible, and make as much noise as possible doing it. Much to my dismay. Running past me and the kids. Skipping in lines. Spilling junk food and drinks everywhere. It was a Summer nightmare.

I would stand there in my surf trunks, and look out over the park and cringe.

No one knew I was a surfer (Thank God). But there I stood, in my surf trunks. As if they were some kind of badge of normalcy, and that I was above these heathens. Because, I had acquired a taste of the real Water Country. The Atlantic Ocean. But my trunks and my ridiculous stance, went unnoticed. No one knew I was a surfer, and no one gave a rats ass. I was alone. My wife and I. Two lost souls in this stagnant sea of dirty water. Water that was loaded with Chlorine and God knows what else. I had visions of spraying myself and family with Lysol, before and after each visit to that place.

The water rides and the long lines, were something out of a Stephen King novel.

Those of you who know what I'm talking about, can relate. The big, sweaty bodies, pressed up against you, as you tried to protect your children, while waiting in line. Making small talk with folks and families, that you had nothing in common with. Except you wanted to get into that raft, and shoot down some water slide, and be away from it all. The closer you got to the top, the more intense everything would get. The young teens who worked there, had no clue of the real dangers that was WADDA KOUNTRY.

Parents and kids sneezing and coughing all over the place. Drunk uncles and loud obnoxious baby sitters. Where do they come from? "Maybe it is a blessing," I'd think to myself, that these people have not discovered surfing. Although, I don't expect that would interest them very much. The mentality of WADDA KOUNTRY is unlike what we all seek. These WADDA KOUNTRY fans feed off this scenario. The crowds. The noise. The filth. Walking around the park on the wet grounds, you just knew you were walking in all sorts of awful chemicals, mixed in with human body fluids, that is unmentionable (even for me).

WADDA KOUNTRY! WADDA KOUNTRY- SPEND SOME DOUGH!

And the cost? Oh my God. We had to spend a minimum of $150 for tix alone. A family of five at WADDA KOUNTRY? Forget about it.

Trying to justify it all by the rides you went on, fell by the wayside as well. And when they introduced the "Wave Pool"? Well, some of us Surf parents at first thought..."Hey a wave pool! That could be cool." Nope. The wave pool was the worst of all. Nothing about the "Wave Pool" resembled anything to do with a beach, or waves.

Picture a giant Toilet bowl, filled with a thousand turds (people).

And then some giant moron flushes the toilet. We being the turds, are bounced and swirled off each other, and smash into total strangers as they all scream with giddiness, thinking they are in an ocean type setting. We bob and bounce, and bang against total strangers, flipping over in our bright yellow inner tubes, and surface searching for our children, who had now blended in, with the other thousand turds, who are screaming and crying. "Hold on kids, Daddy's coming!:

Wave Pool? They should call it what it is. A Damn Toilet Bowl.

Oh, the mere thought of WADDA KOUNTRY this week, sent a shiver up my spine. And it's funny, because 10 years ago, when I was doing my first tour of 365 consecutive days of Surfing, we were still in WK mode each summer. It's true. In fact, I may have even tried to use my' surfing everyday' as an excuse not to go. "Kids be reasonable, what if Daddy got caught on one of those rides and couldn't get out? How would I be able to surf everyday?" But my kids were smarter than that. They knew what my motivation was. So we sucked it up, and did it each year, until one by one, they grew tired of it, and finally realized that the REAL Waddar Kountry, was here at North Beach.

Now less anyone think we didn't have any fun at WK, that is not true. We did. We went on some fun family raft rides, that were both exciting and fun. And Max and I did the JERONIMO run a bunch of times. Despite the fact, that line was the longest and slowest in the whole park, and my back was always killing me. So we made the best of it each summer. My advice to you surf parents who are now finding yourselves standing in a long line at WK. Be cool. Keep your mouth shut when in the water. Take plenty of vitamins and penicillin, and keep pointing out the ocean to your children. They will eventually grow tired of the park, like ours did. And someday, you will all look back on your days at WK, as a growing, family experience. Not a very good one. But an experience none the less.

WADDA KOUNTRY! WADDA KOUNTRY- LOSE YOUR MIND!!

So on Monday, July 26, 2010 at 9AM, I stepped off the beach at 10th Street, and began what I hope and pray, (and have trained for), will be the first of 365 consecutive days of surfing. It is Day 6 as I write this. And while these first 6 days have been easy, I am fully aware of what is coming. But I am prepared, and I have a good support system in place. I know that all the Surf Shops will help me with boards, suits, and wax. And I know, that all my friends and family are there with me.

I know what this means to Buck, Meg and Kieran. And I will do everything in my power to see this through. NOBODY QUITS. NOBODY DROPS OUT. My One Year Journey has begun. CATCH A WAVE FOR MOLLY ...Remember...Surfing Heals All Wounds...


Now for some of my Weekly Global Observances:
With this being Shark Week on the Discovery Channel, and all the shark sightings as of late, I was almost expecting to hear of a shark attack somewhere on the East Coast. I mean, all the ingredients were there. *Including an over abundance of seals. On Monday, when I caught my first wave, a large Gray Seal popped up about 10 yards from the shore line, and kind of lazily swam along the shoreline. Seals, as most of you know, are Shark Bait. Sharks eat seals. And humans look like seals.

What you didn't know that?

But getting back to my original point. With seals on the beach, and plenty of Great White Sightings in New England, I thought we'd finally have a shark attack. Instead, there were several Bear Attacks. Oh oh...now we can't go in the woods. The ocean is unsafe, and now the woods. What are we supposed to do now? Seriously, a Bear attack sounds awful. And while I rarely give out advice, when it comes to large mammals, and carnivores, I will say this. If you really want to avoid being attacked by a Bear, just make sure you are with someone in the woods, who is a slightly slower runner than you.

Poor Monica Lewinsky. Home alone at what could of been her step daughter's wedding today. That's not right. Can you imagine if ole Monica crashed that party? That would be something to see. Drunk and full of rage, as she curses Bubba and throws that famous blue dress at the wedding party. What if she were there with a date? Mel Gibson? Now that's Entertainment news.

Speaking of entertainment. I heard this week that American Idol judges Ellen Degeneress and Karen Diabaldi were shit canned from the show. Look, I have to admit, years ago I was into the idol. And as of late, I have only followed it up until the early auditions were over. There was something about those early auditions that I found mildly entertaining. But I never understood why Ellen was on that show. Look, no offense Ellen, but it's about musical talent. And let's face it, she had none.

I heard that J-Lo and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith might be replacement judges. Here's where I toss out the big "whatever.." I'll still enjoy watching the crazy disturbed contestants that they weed out in the begriming. And unless they get a bona fide rocker who can play an instrument, I'll tune it in and out. With Paula and Simon now gone, the show has lost it's appeal. At least it has in my home.

The individual asshole (US ARMY Soldier) responsible for leaking highly Classified documents to Wiki-Leaks website should be held and tried for Treason. Tried for Treason and then be put in a maximum security Military Prison for life. Or worse. Same with the British owner of Wiki-Leaks. Tried for Treason, and sentenced to Prison for Life. NO PAROLE for either of them. They can both Rot in hell.

Last week I stood up for the Lifeguards at Rye's Wallis Beach. This week I'm standing up for the Lifeguards at North Beach. I guess there was an incident with a young surfer (from Florida) who gave the Lifeguards shit, when they asked him to move back into the surf zone. Look, the surf on Sunday was small. There was no need to give any Lifeguard crap over small surf. And the way this kid did it was uncalled for.

The Lifeguards are locals, who are either home on College break, or looking for a part time summer job. These Lifeguards are for the most part, surfers. They surf. Please don't give them shit, when there's no surf. Are you kidding me? If any of you see, or hear of any surfers giving the Lifeguards shit, please let them know, that this is unacceptable. And come the end of August, the Lifeguards will be gone.

Bide your time kooks. And keep yer mouths shut. Got it?

ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Happy Birthday John Carden August 3rd?
Happy Birthday Kenny Linseman August 7th?
Congrats to Max Vincent Fatello! Mackey V was invited to play in the Prestigious SHRINERS BOWL Game on August 7th. Mackey is one of 6 High School players from Division II football who was asked to play. He will be playing alongside two other WINNACUNNET Players Jesse Green and Harry Knowles.
Congrats and Good Luck to local skater/surfer NORA V for her latest action in the X Games in LA. She's a super talent who rides for the Pioneers team.
BIG HANDSOME DADDY performing at Weare's Common on Rte 1 in Hampton Falls, NH Thursday August 19th 6:30-7:30PM FREE Summer Concert !
Wounded Warriors Return for HIT THE BEACH III August 27th at 18th Street 9-3PM.
Thank you AGAIN to ALL who commented and gave words of encouragement to my Surf Endeavor. CATCH A WAVE FOR MOLLY.
Started on July 26, 2010 ENDS July 26, 2011.
A Wave a day for 365 consecutive days. There's a DAILY BLOG you can read . Just click on the banner ad below.

CALL FOR SURF ART. The annual Ralph's Pic Of The Week Summer Surf Art Column is moved to August 15th because of the Catch a Wave For Molly Event on July 26th.
The DEADLINE is Wednesday August 11th. All Art should be in JPEG format and no bigger than 900 pixels wide. Send the art with: A. Title B. medium C. artist.

AUGUST 27th the Wounded Warriors Return to Hampton. HIT THE BEACH III will take place at 18th Street at the Wall on North Beach. We moved the venue down to 18th Street for wheelchair access and close proximity to the bathhouses.

*CHECK RULES AND TIPS PAGE FOR LIFEGUARD AND SAFETY TIPS
PLEASE Pick up your trash at the beaches.

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just have to be yourself.

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every week for the last 7 years. **Think about BUYING a Photo from any of the weeks on RPOTW as a GREAT Gift Idea. A nice framed photo of your favorite Surfer!

Remember my friends...Surfing Heals All Wounds....
Pray for Surf. Pray for Peace. Surf For Fun.

Ralph

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